betrayal

Betrayal
This is a story about me…. An 18 year old woman….. Yes a woman for am not a girl anymore… not since that day at least……

Peter my crush, my love, my life.. like any young girl in school I was mad about him… he was after all “the soccer team captain”, hot, dashing, sexy, cool… ummm what more could anyone ask for.. he was everything a girl dreamt of… Sadly for me the only class we ever shared was the games section and believe me I m a total dud when it comes to physical exercise…. Hmmm it was a Monday morning, freaking hot! We were playing volley ball, too busy drooling over peter playing in the football ground I did not realize when the ball came and hit me on my face.. oh man stars in the morning.. ouch!!.. with a bleeding nose and a swirling head I started to move towards the medicine room and oh my does my luck end there.. uh huh… as stupid as I could get I took a shortcut to the medicine room via the football ground and then there was this bang… me run over by a 1000 rhino’s ( I swear it felt like that!).. wondering whether it was time for me to start digging my grave I opened my eyes and I knew I was in heaven aka peter on me ( a little heavy but who cares???) he looked down at me and went like..” hazel u k?” and then even before I knew it he took me in his arms and took me to the side ( man the day couldn’t have gone better).. as I sat on the side staring( I guess grinning like a fool too) he looked me up and down and shouted..” she needs a doc big time!” Thankfully getting back to my senses I realized I was bleeding on my head and my nose wasn’t looking any better… my lucky stars must have been shining bright for then peter accompanied me to the doc! After a lot of checkup, bandages and white stinky medicine rooms I walked out a little low for peter had left…. Oh wasn’t I wrong for there he was waiting for me outside.. he looked at me smiled and said...” how r u feeling now” I blushed and muttered...” much better though I truly understood the meaning of earth’s rotation today!” he laughed in his musical voice and then sobered..” I m sorry Hazel. I should have seen and prevented the big bang” I smiled..” you mean not let me have my physical astro physics class??” we both laughed and even before I knew it he asked me out for a date….
One long beautiful year since then…. You see peter had asked me out.. we had made love under the skies.. gone skinny dipping ( my fantasy!).. life had been great… until now… you see the peter the super dude from my school had contracted AIDS on one of his night out with a hooker…
Fully aware of his condition he had sex with me without using any precautions….
Today he is no more……
I m pregnant and yes HIV+… I many not live long.. but long enough to give birth to our child…yes I will be a mother soon… an 18 year old mother with the social stigma of having AIDS.. All I can hope is that my child is HIV- .. for I want him to live the life that I can never live.. to breathe the moments which I can never have.. to laugh in the joy which I can never feel… I donot have regrets for I had loved peter but yes am pained for his lies.. am pained by his betrayal….
I cannot cry,
For my tears betray me.
I cannot sleep,
For my dreams betray me.
I cannot laugh,
For my smile betrays me.
I cannot live,
For love has betrayed me…
People say when u fall in love and it betrays you, your heart breaks but what if u have loved with your soul and your soul breaks...
Hearts can be mended…. But souls………..
Believe me I know…….